A person who experienced a toxic workplace described how the environment led them to doubt themselves, a story that highlights the hidden impact of such settings. The individual, a woman whose name was not provided in the account, initially blamed herself for her anxiety and stress.
She recalled feeling anxious every Sunday evening before the work week began. Her chest would tighten when certain emails arrived. Before meetings, she would rehearse what to say, trying to avoid mistakes. She told herself she needed to be tougher, calmer, and more resilient, assuming the problem was her own inability to cope.
From the outside, the organization appeared respected. The leadership team was seen as successful and admired. The person at the center of her stress was charismatic and highly regarded by others. This made it harder for her to trust her own feelings. There was no obvious bullying or shouting. Instead, the harm came from a slow accumulation of smaller events.
She described conversations that left her feeling ashamed, criticism disguised as advice, and moments of confusion about what had happened. She was sometimes praised warmly and other times ignored or subtly undermined. The inconsistency kept her constantly trying to prove herself. She became more careful, more accommodating, and more self-critical, believing that if she communicated perfectly, things would improve.
Eventually, she realized she had lost trust in herself. She second-guessed simple decisions, apologized constantly, and felt emotionally exhausted from monitoring other people’s moods. During a team meeting, she had a moment of clarity. She saw that her work environment replicated her home environment growing up. She identified the charismatic boss as a narcissist, surrounded by people who enabled the toxic behavior. She recognized it as narcissistic abuse in the workplace.
Looking back, she noted that unhealthy environments often condition people to disconnect from their own instincts. People become focused on keeping the peace or pleasing others, and stop noticing what their mind and body are trying to tell them. The turning point came when a friend asked her if she felt safe there. She was surprised by the question, as she had never considered emotional safety at work. She had assumed professionalism meant tolerating discomfort.
She did not feel able to speak openly without consequences. She did not feel comfortable making mistakes. She did not feel calm or secure. Everyone competed for the boss’s approval, which she later saw was used strategically. Admitting this was painful, but it was the beginning of recognizing her anxiety as information, not personal failure. Her body was responding to an environment that kept her in self-doubt.
Healing took time. She had to rebuild confidence and reconnect with her own voice. She stopped minimizing what she had experienced and stopped blaming herself for being affected by it. After she left the job, she felt almost instant relief, and her confidence and self-trust quickly returned. This renewed her sense that it was not her fault. She was having an understandable response to a toxic situation.
The author of the account, Dr. Sarah Davies, is a chartered counseling psychologist and trauma therapist based in London. She has written guides on recovery from narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. Her story is shared on the website Tiny Buddha, which publishes personal reflections. The account also includes a reader comment from someone named Helene, who said she experienced similar dynamics in her childhood and in jobs, struggling to see the subtle signs of such behavior.
